They cause mess, clutter and leave a trail of destruction around the house. Socks, shoes, bank statements, wash bags, loose change, mobile phone chargers, receipts, golf score cards, golf tees, golf shoe studs and other such ‘man’ stuff clutter every imaginable surface of your home, rendering a good polish practically impossible.
Men are also incapable of putting things back into the fridge after making themselves a sandwich. They don't know where the plates are kept as they never use one and don't know where the dishwasher is as they are only able to put dinner plates within close proximity of the dishwasher, but fail to ever put them into the dishwasher itself, so baffled they are as to its possible whereabouts.
When challenged on their level of contribution to the general up-keep of the house, men will claim that they do more than their fair share. The reason you are not aware of them doing any jobs is because, unlike yourself, they don't feel there is any benefit to be gained by drawing your attention to the matter. The sort of jobs men undertake in this mysterious manner include such essential tasks as sharpening the meat knives, re-aligning the gas burners on the hob or straightening up the umbrella plant.
So, that's my counter-attack done. Thank you for reading!